A Dad’s Remembrance

Dear Andy,

This blog is not intended to cover your whole 40 years, only about the first half of it when you were growing up from a 10 lb newborn to the young adult of whom I was so proud. So your brilliant career, your wonderful wife, your boys so beloved by me—these are not covered. But, there is a lot of reminiscence I can share from your boyhood. Alas, as you know, there is a real paucity of photographs from the time between your birth and when your mom and I split. This is nobody’s fault, they just got lost somehow. I have had a book of this blog printed; you should receive it a week or so after your birthday. I have so many happy memories of your youth that I can only touch on a few here. But know that I have always been very proud of you and have many happy memories of these days.

Love,

Dad

Birth—August 10, 1972

Your birth was well planned because, as you know, your mother needs labor-inducing drugs to have a baby. So going to have you was just like going to a doctor’s appointment. You were the first of my children whose birth I actually witnessed; circumstances prevented me from seeing Geoff born (which are explained in his 40 year blog). You were a whopper—ten pounds! We brought you home from the hospital and bedded you down in the nursery we had prepared, purple walls and a big green frog I had painted, we were now a family of four. We went to sleep and, the next thing we knew, it was morning. We thought for sure that sudden infant death must have struck the Baker household—whoever heard of a baby sleeping through the night the first night? Well, you did! Unfortunately this was not the start of a trend and you did wake up for night feedings for a few months. Overall, you were a placid and happy baby—a fat little smiling Buddha I believe your mother dubbed you. This is the earliest known photo I have of you and it has been on my bureau for as long as I can remember. I think it was done by a professional photographer. This is what happens to some photos over the course of 40 years! Maybe your mom has a better copy.

Andrew Joel Baker

When Geoff was named, we chose names we liked and which went well together, and he has a perfectly fine name. However, I sort of regretted that because it provides no connection with the past. As a parent, you live and learn. So when you came along we decided that a middle name should touch the past and we decided to name you after my beloved paternal grandfather, only a year or two in the grave, Joel Baker (he had no middle name). I loved him and my grandmother Cora very much. He was an attorney and active in Cook County (Chicago) politics. They were quite cultured folks. When casting around for a photo of him, I found the one above with me when I was three or four. I had never noticed the detail of this photo—look at it closely and you will see that this is probably when I had my first cigar! My grandparents weathered the depression fairly well, often accepting barter for legal fees. However, they lived very well and planned not very well; when it was time for him to retire, they could not really afford it. They bought a Mom-and-Pop grocery store in Chattanooga and were supremely happy. One of my first adventures at about age 8 was to fly down to spend the summer with them. Here is a picture of my departure (check out the fedora and baggy pants). They decided some years later that they missed winter and so bought a store in Beloit, Wisconsin. But, these kind of stores were, at that time, being driven out of business by supermarkets and my dad and Uncle Harold became aware one Christmas (when our gifts were canned sardines and the like) that they were living in poverty. So they moved in with us when I was in high school and stayed for a couple of years. Joel’s brother, a bachelor and colorful character who had been a columnist for the New York Times and a Consulate Officer in Morocco, died and left his modest estate to Joel and Cora who had taken him in during the depression. This gave them the resources to buy a tiny cottage in Nashville, Ohio where they happily lived out their days; he even reentered politics when he was elected to serve on the village council. One thing which sticks in my mind about my grandparents—they always seemed to be in love just like newlyweds.

Babyhood

I haven’t found any baby pictures from New Jersey where you spent your first two years. The pictures here are all from the early days in Athens, Winterville actually. (The portrait of you with the ball could have been from New Jersey.) The first picture shows you being pushed by your great grandfather Ken Nordstrom; he and my Grandma Irma would stop every year on their way to Florida for the winter. The next picture is, of course, your mom reading to you in our little ranch house in Winterville. This is around the time of your famous, tardy first words “We go home now?” indicating your puzzlement at our new home. My son the genius—first words were a full sentence! Last, that incredibly cute portrait of you and your big brother. We stayed at that house for about three years because I remember you started kindergarten at Barrow, I believe the first year that there was public kindergarten in Georgia.

Preschool Days

What a cute little guy! Happy when contemplating a tiny marshmallow, grief-stricken when the creepy kid won’t share the ball, exuberant when wielding some weapon! Preschool days were spent at the McPhaul Center where I guess you spent years three and four, Geoff was in kindergarten during your first year and then did first grade at Winterville Elementary while you were doing four-year old at McPhaul. Do you remember Ms. Pagio? I ran into her a few years ago and, amazingly, she remembered both you and Geoff. During this time we were still living in the little ranch house in Winterville where we had built a little log cabin, I was riding my red Vespa or my Fiat Spider 650 two-seater (which you loved), the family car was a yellow Fiat, Grandma and Grandpa Ostle had moved to Athens, and we were starting to get the itch to buy a fixer upper in town. I had built a screened-in porch, installed a bathroom skylight, and redesigned the air flow for the AC. There wasn’t much left to do in that house and you know me—always need a project! But, they were good days when you first were introduced to Thompson kids as babysitters—Joe, Liz, Megan, and even Sara once as a standin—and we discovered fun places to go in the mountains, the shore, Atlanta, etc.

Halloweens

I always loved Halloween with you guys. One of my joys of fatherhood was that the Bakers never bought a costume, I always made it. All four of you Baker kids have been fodder for my sloppy sewing! I believe my favorite of all was the year in Winterville, it must have been the year Geoff was in first grade, when Geoff was a moose, using an old raccoon coat your mom had and a head brilliantly sculpted from brown grocery bags, and you were a spider with the extra legs sewn to the side of your costume and attached by strings to each other and your arms so that they all went up when you raised your arms. Alas, I can find no pictures of those costumes. I remember one year, Geoff was off at college, we had a big Halloween party and you were a pirate and I was Zozobra. Sara was a ghoul, Richard came as the statue of liberty, Becky was Pippy Longstocking, Rick Malchow was a tube of toothpaste…fun was had by all!

Andy and Bicycles

Bicycles have always been an important part of your life. This might very well be a photo of your very first solo flight, setting the stage for years of bike love. You and your buddies—Robert, Josh, Eric—rode many happy miles together. I do remember the accident you had which demolished your bike and nearly you. But, although your mother was anxious to initiate lawsuits, I seem to recall that you were at least able to get the bike of your dreams from whatever settlement came your way. I remember the day Sara and I drove down to Monticello, GA to see you finish your first century, exhausted but proud! Then there was the time you and Robert did serious bike-backpacking out to Sandy Creek Park where you camped overnight. I remember that I was very apprehensive of your biking on Hwy 79 and you and I set out in the car to find a safer route on back roads. I know that your urban lifestyle and demands of job and family (not to mention the theft of your prized, valuable bike) have stopped your biking, but I’m betting that some day you will be back in the saddle again.

Enter Stepmother

Came a time when Dad and Sara decided to tie the knot. Here we are after the ceremony, held in our dining room, relaxing before the reception. Look how happy everyone is. Oh, wait a minute, one guy doesn’t look so happy. Pretty snazzy suit, though.

Grandmas

You had two loving grandmothers when you were growing up. Grandma Ostle was a constant presence in your life all through your childhood. Grandma Baker we spent time with every year in Wisconsin (see next post) and she often came to visit at Easter time. Of course, my mom, your blood Grandma Baker, was not there. She would have so loved you Andy. She pined so for grandchildren but departed this life before any of you entered it.

Summers in Wisconsin

For many years we would spend a week at Grandma and Grandpa’s place in Wisconsin. Before Sara and I were wed, you and Geoff and I would drive up, staying with Ken and Gerry one way and Bobbie and Harold the other. On one trip you had your first introduction to computers, I believe. Aunt Bobbie, a media specialist in the schools in Wheaton, was just starting to use Apple Computers in the schools and had one home for the summer. Usually Ian came up for the week we were there and you and he had such a splendid time. We did lots of fishing, swimming, boating, water skiing, and had fun, fun, fun! Perhaps the best summer in Wisconsin was the year we rented a cottage on a river to a lake near to Grandpa to have room for the California cousins and Aunt Leslie as well as all of us. What a wonderful week that was!

Baby Sister

1986, you were 14 and Geoff was 16; the excitement in our family was the arrival of Hannah Frances Baker, and you guys were crazy for her. You and Geoff used to fight over whose turn it was to change her diaper! Here are a few pictures of you and Hannah during that first year. I have also thrown in here one of Baby Adam in 1996 with Adam wearing a “Little Demon Deacon” t-shirt; it is a pretty weird photo because it must have been at the end of a roll of film and is multiply exposed. Sara and I have always felt that one of the reasons you are such a great parent was your participation in the loving raising of Baby Hannah.

Fishing Buddy, Braves Fan

Things we did together when you were growing up were often centered either on fishing/camping or the Atlanta Braves. Those were the days when all Braves games were on TV—we sure spent a lot of time plugged into that tube! Those were also the days when you could be assured that if you drove to Atlanta you could get into the ball park and usually move into the primo seats in the second inning. When they started winning consistently, I found the whole situation less fun. We once drove all the way into town only to find the game sold out. And when we did get in, the loud rowdy crowds with their tomahawk chops made it almost impossible to have a conversation about the fine points of the game. I still have fond memories of you and me and Geoff and less than 3000 other people at the old stadium. And of going to games with you guys, Sara, and the Goldthwaites. Fishing was something I was able to introduce all my kids to. Hannah’s fly rod was handed down to Daniel (my stand-in son between you and Adam). I think the picture at the left was taken on the way to our camping trip to Lake Tugaloo, the one where we made a wonderful blackberry cobbler, baked in an open fire, and wonderful except for being very sour due to a lack of sugar; it was Sara who suggested, later, that we should have incorporated marshmallows. Fishing, of course, was also a feature of our Wisconsin forays. Of course, you remember Indian Guides. Every spring meant a trip to the Y camp for a weekend of fishing, hiking, campfires, etc. I ran into John Simpson recently, now retired Y Director, who said that there is just no longer any interest by fathers in being in such a group. One more camping memory, an anecdote from much longer ago, is due to you—a remembrance you contributed to my 50th birthday scrapbook Sara put together:

Christmas

Christmas was always a really special time in the Baker home. As Sara said to me recently in a different context, “Bakers really know how to ‘do family’”. Always starting with the traditional trip to Jack’s Creek and the famous traditional feud between you and Sara regarding the choice of the prettiest tree. And, I have to tell you that every year since you have not participated in  this competition, Sara whines about how much she misses it. Of course, the tree was invariably bigger than it looked in the field—by a long shot—requiring back-breaking labor dragging it to and loading it on the truck, having to cut it down to  size to get it in the house, tying wires every which way to keep it vertical. Then, as soon as the lights were strung, my work was through and I  could watch all the rest of you hang the ornaments. Christmas morning with my famous stollen. And during the whole season, usually starting shortly after Thanksgiving, multiple screenings of our favorite movie!

California Cousins

Although seldom seen, we managed to establish a pretty close relationship with your Ratshin cousins. In addition to our week-long Wisconsin foray, Russ came to visit one summer and you, Sara, and Hannah went to California at the end of a trip we all took to Los Alamos (I had to stay on to finish an experiment).  

New Mexico

Of course, my work at Los Alamos many summers has been a common thread for our family. I remember well the year that you, Sara, Hannah, and I went for a while and then you three went on to California to visit the Ratshins. This must have about 1987, given the apparent age of Hannah. One of the things which struck me when I was looking at these pictures was the continuity of life since pictures of you in 1987 and Adam in 2010 are at just the same places; the first is at Bandelier National Monument and the second is at Soda Dam.